Re: Joke of the day

by **Raiden** Thu 22 Dec 2011 - 7:24

Top 10 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus on Christmas

10. Instead of milk and cookies leave Santa a Weight Watchers bar and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds!

9. While Santa’s in the house... go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket!

8. While Santa’s in the house... replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to fly!

7. Keep a bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big fat Santa suit!!

6. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wants to remind him to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home.

5. Take everything out of your house as if it has just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well, well… They always return to the scene of the crime"

4. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute corrections.

3. Leave out a Santa suit with a dry-cleaning bill.

2. Instead of Christmas ornaments decorate your tree with pumpkins!

1. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa Claus to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us buddy!!"

by **sa_admin** Fri 23 Dec 2011 - 23:38

by **Fuffud** Sat 24 Dec 2011 - 19:19

Poor poor Santa, What you gonna do? Things ain't going well when Raiden picks on you.

No presents for you this year Neutral

by **Raiden** Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 10:27

@Fud:

that explains way Santa usually skips me ...

by **Raiden** Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 10:28

Resolutions You Would be Tempted to Keep ...
For those who are scared of making resolutions here are some resolutions they would actually be tempted to keep !!!

Spend more time watching TV / movies.
Chat more over phone / Internet.
Read less.
I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
Stop exercising. Waste of time.
Procrastinate more.
Drink. Drink some more.
Start being superstitious.
Spend more and less time at work.
Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
Take up a new habit: Maybe smoking!

by **sa_admin** Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 10:32

oh.... if go for "Drink. Drink some more." ! bounce

by **Fuffud** Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 10:39

A University Student walks out of a bar...

Well it could happen. Shocked

by **Raiden** Sat 31 Dec 2011 - 12:12

very funny

by **Raiden** Mon 2 Jan 2012 - 14:16

I bought my daughter an iPAD, my son an iPOD, me an iPHONE & the Mrs an iRON. She wasn't impressed even after I explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK & iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function!

by **Fuffud** Wed 4 Jan 2012 - 12:57

I sure PC world could help fixing it in no time.

I never knew you had a Mrs. :/

by Guest Wed 4 Jan 2012 - 13:28

... totally lost when want understand last sentence Smile

. .... but Im sure my wife will like iWASH, iCOOK & iCLEAN network lol!

by **Raiden** Mon 9 Jan 2012 - 8:46

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"

"A mongoose."

"What for?"

"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."

"But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."

"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."

by Guest Mon 9 Jan 2012 - 13:29

by **Michael** Wed 11 Jan 2012 - 14:45

lol @ the friend Very Happy

by **sa_admin** Fri 13 Jan 2012 - 13:05

by **sa_admin** Wed 25 Jan 2012 - 13:51

Joke of the day - Page 5 402520_10150500086517120_592772119_9264842_402026984_n

Translation : "i'm your father" - guess the rest.....

by **Riebens** Wed 25 Jan 2012 - 14:05

by **Raiden** Wed 25 Jan 2012 - 14:23

by **Raiden** Thu 26 Jan 2012 - 17:57

by **Michael** Thu 26 Jan 2012 - 20:14

doh... Mozambique's turism income should be 0 $

by **sa_admin** Fri 27 Jan 2012 - 2:03

oh my god this is either fake (my opinion) or totally fail !!! Razz

Anyway it is funny !

by **Ryleous Arkane (SA_ORION)** Fri 27 Jan 2012 - 10:47

Haha, I need to send that letter to my boss up here at work, he's been on big game hunts, so he could probably relate and get the joke! tongue

by **Fuffud** Fri 27 Jan 2012 - 14:01

by **sa_admin** Fri 27 Jan 2012 - 14:05

am i the only one to have misread "RedShit" instead of "RedShirt"

by **Raiden** Sat 28 Jan 2012 - 15:44

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but
they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure..'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she
asks.

'No, I can remember it..'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it
down, so a s not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice
cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She
stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast ?'

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