Joke of the day

by **Raiden** Thu 4 Aug 2011 - 12:26

1 - Open Google Maps (get directions )
2 - Type China as your starting point
3 - Type Taiwan as your destination.
4 - Read step 48

by **Seqan** Fri 5 Aug 2011 - 0:43

by **Faaby** Fri 5 Aug 2011 - 2:42

LOL right!

by **Seqan** Fri 5 Aug 2011 - 4:35

Here's my joke.

A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?!"

biggrin

by **inflkt** Fri 5 Aug 2011 - 5:43

LOL. My jokme of the day.

"Top of the evening to you Private!"

by **Riebens** Fri 5 Aug 2011 - 8:41

Seqan wrote:Here's my joke.

A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?!"

by **Raiden** Sat 27 Aug 2011 - 12:29

A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the villa, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $22,398,750.78 in cash." The granddaughter, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh granny, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Granny whispered............. "Facebook..."

by **Riebens** Sat 27 Aug 2011 - 12:46

by **Seqan** Sat 27 Aug 2011 - 13:27

ROFLMAO!!! lol!

by **Raiden** Thu 15 Sep 2011 - 4:23

Woman brings a duck to Vet. Vet says, your duck is dead. Woman says, are you sure? Yes, says Vet. How can you be sure you've done no tests. Vet brings in a Labrador Retriever which sniffs the duck and shakes his head. Next, a cat which sniffs the bird and shakes its head. Vet says, sorry, but as I said your duck is dead. Vet hands woman a bill. She cries, $820 to tell me my duck is dead! Vet says, If you had taken my word for it the bill would be $20, but Lab Reports and Cat Scans cost extra!!

by **Riebens** Thu 15 Sep 2011 - 5:44

by Guest Thu 15 Sep 2011 - 10:48

by **Seqan** Thu 15 Sep 2011 - 18:31

Martind Forlon wrote:

Seconded!

by **Raiden** Tue 4 Oct 2011 - 19:59

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom."
With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.
Your daughter, Judith...

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home.

by **Seqan** Tue 4 Oct 2011 - 23:54

Oh that's horrible... Fudpalm

Pfft.... ROFLMAO!!! lol!

by **Loyal** Tue 4 Oct 2011 - 23:59

Fuck Yeah, that puts me on the floor laughing my fucking ass off.

by **Raiden** Mon 10 Oct 2011 - 5:11

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where
I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,'
I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

by **[gT]Griffin** Mon 10 Oct 2011 - 12:19

HAHAHA That is fucked up lol

by **Riebens** Mon 10 Oct 2011 - 12:31

lesson to be learned ...

If you want to marry .. have LOTS of money

biggrin

by Guest Tue 11 Oct 2011 - 3:05

ROFL

... how true is this biggrin

by **Seqan** Tue 11 Oct 2011 - 14:02

That's horrible... BUT HILARIOUS! That sounds like a stunt I or Griffin might try to pull! lol!

by **sa_admin** Tue 11 Oct 2011 - 17:07

nice one

but what was that offer the bride made to the pastor ??? biggrin

i got a few ideas...

by **Riebens** Sat 15 Oct 2011 - 4:09

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

by **Raiden** Sat 15 Oct 2011 - 5:59

by **Raiden** Mon 17 Oct 2011 - 6:05

Boy: Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car.. ?
Boy: No..
...Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy: No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing.. How can i marry you.?? Leave please.!!
Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche.. Why I still need to buy BMW.?! How can I get the salary when actually I'm the BOSS..